The late Seventies and early
Eighties were a busy – and prosperous – time
for James Earl Jones. Not only were his signature rumbling tones giving
kids nightmares as Darth Vader, he was also pitted against Arnold Schwarzenegger
as the evil Thulsa Doom in Conan the Barbarian and found time for some
rather more uplifting work as Alex Haley in the TV mini-series Roots:
The Next Generations.
With so much going on, it’s understandable that he’d welcome
the chance to spend a working vacation relaxing in glorious sunshine
amid the scenic beauty of the Greek islands. Of course, the downside
is that he had to star in this absolutely terrible monster movie which
manages to make a mere 80 minute running time feel three times as long.
After an interminable opening sequence in which the obligatory olden
days virgin is sent into a dank temple to be devoured by an unseen beast,
we zip forward to the present day and two bronzed Americans – Neil
and Sherry – who are mooring their yacht at a remote Greek island.
They’re upbeat and jovial as they wander through some ruins, and
even manage to maintain their generally cheery demeanour when the local
kids inexplicably throw a cat at them. Enter Nereus (Jose Ferrer), the
mayor of this tiny island town, who greets them with the usual warmth
and hospitality expected from small rural communities in shitty horror
movies – that is to say, none.
It turns out that Neil is looking for his sister, Madeline, who vanished
in the area some months previous – a fact which makes his earlier
carefree attitude seem rather odd. As is traditional in these sorts of
tales, it’s obvious the shifty locals know something, but they
ain’t telling. As they return emptyhanded to the yacht, Neil sees
someone in the dusk who looks a bit like Madeline and sets off in pursuit.
What do you know? It is Madeline, and Neil finds her shacked up with
a barking mad treasure hunter named Frye – played with booming
glee by James Earl Jones. Also present is Frye’s ditzy girlfriend,
Barbara, who he treats like dirt.
Bear in mind, the movie is almost halfway finished by the time we get
to this point and so far it’s only made good on one half of its
title. We’ve seen a lot of the tide, but precious little blood.
In fact, the closest we’ve come to action is a scene in which a
melon is punched to pieces.
Things start to pick up once Frye slips into a wetsuit (a remarkable
sight in itself) and takes a nocturnal scuba dive down to a sunken temple – the
same one from the tiresome prologue, of course – where he guzzles
a bottle of Jack Daniels and blows open the entrance to the temple. Explosives,
liquor and scuba diving. Quite the combination. Having achieved this
goal, Frye then…leaves.
It doesn’t take a genius to work out that something has been freed
from the underwater ruins, and soon people are mysteriously vanishing
from the sea – including poor old Barbara. The villagers seem less
than perturbed. Once the mangled remains are buried, they simply throw
a huge beach barbecue. Our American heroes are not in the mood for flame-grilled
albatross though, especially when Madeline goes missing. Having acted
slightly loopy all through the movie, Neil figures out (somehow) that
she plans to sacrifice herself to the creature. A creature which, it
should be pointed out, warrants a mere two seconds of screentime, during
which its origins as a crude rubber sock puppet are all too apparent.
Neil and Frye dive down to the temple and as her brother drags the insane
Madeline back to the surface, good old James Earl Jones concocts an enormous
bomb from his leftover explosives, utters one last random dose of gibberish – something
to do with castrating dogs – and swims into the clutches of the
unseen beast. Then he blows himself up.
Need to know: Neil was played by Martin Kove, who most people will remember
as John Kreese, the brutal sensei of the Cobra Kai karate school in The
Karate Kid. Jose Ferrer, who played Nereus, is the father of Miguel Ferrer
(see: Martin Sheen) and uncle of George Clooney. He won the Best Actor
Oscar for Cyrano De Bergerac in 1950 and went on to appear in the likes
of Lawrence of Arabia and The Greatest Story Ever Told. Like so many
of his generation, he ended up taking roles in silly horror movies once
the Seventies and Eighties swept away the grandeur of the old studio
system, and Blood Tide sits alongside movies such as Bloody Birthday
and The Sentinel (see: Christopher Walken) in his later work.
Honourable mentions: James Earl Jones can also be found sporting a variety
of hilarious afro wigs in the well-intentioned superhero romp The Meteor
Man (see: Don Cheadle).
Availability: Blood Tide somehow earned a DVD release
in 1999, and is still relatively easy to find.
