Flicks of Shame: what's a nice actor like you doing in a movie like this?

Dirty Weekend (1993)

British actor Rufus Sewell has one of those handsomely old-fashioned faces that usually finds him in period movies, playing regal rulers or vile villains in olden days yarns such as A Knight’s Tale, Tristan & Isolde and The Legend of Zorro, though he’s also made time to star in romantic comedies (Martha, meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence) and cult sci-fi (Dark City).

However, in just his second big screen role, Rufus trumped them all by playing a panty-sniffing creep who meets a sticky end in this mind-numbingly tasteless vigilante thriller from Michael Winner. Of course, incredibly violent revenge movies are hardly virgin territory for Winner – he is the man who gave us the Death Wish franchise, after all – but Dirty Weekend has a twist up its skirt. This is a vengeance movie for man-hating feminists everywhere.

As the opening caption succinctly explains, it’s the story of Bella – a woman who woke up one morning and decided she’d had enough. Enough of what? Men, obviously, and given the wretched specimens populating her life it’s easy to see why. For example, after baking her boyfriend an enormous cake and throwing a lavish birthday party for him, he promptly sleeps with someone else and makes it quite clear that he considers Bella to be second-hand goods. “As Lenin said”, he pontificates, “Who wants to drink from a greasy cup?”

In search of a fresh start, Bella packs up her things and moves to the English seaside town of Brighton where, sadly, things don’t improve much. Across the way from her small apartment lives Tim, played with clammy conviction by Rufus Sewell, and he’s soon spying on her, making obscene phone calls and threatening sexual violence. When even a policeman makes an aggressive pass at her, Bella realises that all men are slimy pigs who deserve to be murderlised with extreme prejudice..

She heads home, grabs a hammer, breaks into Tim’s home and – after licking his earlobe while he sleeps – smashes his skull to wet, bloody chunks.

You’d think this would satisfy her, but no. Bella then takes to going out looking for men to slaughter, and they all oblige by acting like sleazy rape-obsessed lunatics. An obese psychologist slaps her in the face, and is tied up and suffocated for his trouble. A dentist (played by former Man from U.N.C.L.E David McCallum) forces her to give him a blow job, so she runs him over with his own car. A trio of boorish city slickers attempt to rape her in an alley, so she executes them with her illegally-acquired handgun.

However, as she attempts to flee Brighton to continue her crusade elsewhere, her path crosses with that of a violent serial rapist and murderer, whose inexorable journey to Brighton has been none-too-subtley conveyed via numerous radio reports throughout the movie. When he drags her into a closed amusement arcade, Bella stabs him in the groin with a switchblade and then slashes him to death before toppling his body into the sea. When last we see Bella, she’s leaving for fresh killing fields on a train, contemplating the demise of the man opposite her. After all, he does offer to light her cigarette, the lecherous bastard.

Packed with awkward performances and clumsy plot twists, Dirty Weekend really goes the extra mile to earn its reputation as one of the worst British movies ever made. It’s an ugly movie – both in intent and execution, and if it had even one element that wasn’t embarrassingly dumb it might just be interesting enough to be offensive. Rufus Sewell’s early exit is easily the most graphic of the death scenes, his body flailing and jerking with each hammer blow, but it’s also a crying shame – despite appearing in such a grotty slice of exploitation, Sewell is absolutely fantastic in the role of Tim, the quietly menacing phone sex pest.

Of course, being great at playing a sexually dysfunctional creep may not be the sort of thing you want to be remembered for, but it certainly livens up this amateurish farce, and for that we should be thankful.

Need to know: Dirty Weekend was based on the debut novel by Helen Zahavi, and she co-wrote the script herself. Her other books include True Romance (no relation to the Tarantino-scripted movie) in which a beautiful Eastern European refugee enters into a sado-masochistic relationship with a wealthy cad, and Donna and the Fatman, in which a beautiful young woman enters into a sado-masochistic relationship with a London gangster.

The serial killer who suffers a nasty case of knife-crotch when he attacks Bella was played by Christopher Adamson, an actor whose gnarled visage earned him a place among the cast of both Cutthroat Island and Pirates of the Caribbean. As well as Dirty Weekend, he can also be found in the second worst British movie ever made – Beyond Bedlam (see: Elizabeth Hurley). Finally, keep a close eye on the trio of leering yuppies who get blown away by Bella – the second to die is a very young Sean Pertwee (see: Gerard Butler).

Availability: Dirty Weekend is no longer available in the US, but it can be found on DVD in Britain.

		Dirty Weekend (1993) British actor Rufus Sewell has one of those handsomely old-fashioned faces that usually finds him in period movies, playing regal rulers or vile villains in olden days yarns such as A Knight’s Tale, Tristan & Isolde and The Legend of Zorro, though he’s also made time to star in romantic comedies (Martha, meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence) and cult sci-fi (Dark City). However, in just his second big screen role, Rufus trumped them all by playing a panty-sniffing creep who meets a sticky end in this mind-numbingly tasteless vigilante thriller from Michael Winner. Of course, incredibly violent revenge movies are hardly virgin territory for Winner – he is the man who gave us the Death Wish franchise, after all – but Dirty Weekend has a twist up its skirt. This is a vengeance movie for man-hating feminists everywhere. As the opening caption succinctly explains, it’s the story of Bella – a woman who woke up one morning and decided she’d had enough. Enough of what? Men, obviously, and given the wretched specimens populating her life it’s easy to see why. For example, after baking her boyfriend an enormous cake and throwing a lavish birthday party for him, he promptly sleeps with someone else and makes it quite clear that he considers Bella to be second-hand goods. “As Lenin said”, he pontificates, “Who wants to drink from a greasy cup?” In search of a fresh start, Bella packs up her things and moves to the English seaside town of Brighton where, sadly, things don’t improve much. Across the way from her small apartment lives Tim, played with clammy conviction by Rufus Sewell, and he’s soon spying on her, making obscene phone calls and threatening sexual violence. When even a policeman makes an aggressive pass at her, Bella realises that all men are slimy pigs who deserve to be murderlised with extreme prejudice.. She heads home, grabs a hammer, breaks into Tim’s home and – after licking his earlobe while he sleeps – smashes his skull to wet, bloody chunks. You’d think this would satisfy her, but no. Bella then takes to going out looking for men to slaughter, and they all oblige by acting like sleazy rape-obsessed lunatics. An obese psychologist slaps her in the face, and is tied up and suffocated for his trouble. A dentist (played by former Man from U.N.C.L.E David McCallum) forces her to give him a blow job, so she runs him over with his own car. A trio of boorish city slickers attempt to rape her in an alley, so she executes them with her illegally-acquired handgun. However, as she attempts to flee Brighton to continue her crusade elsewhere, her path crosses with that of a violent serial rapist and murderer, whose inexorable journey to Brighton has been none-too-subtley conveyed via numerous radio reports throughout the movie. When he drags her into a closed amusement arcade, Bella stabs him in the groin with a switchblade and then slashes him to death before toppling his body into the sea. When last we see Bella, she’s leaving for fresh killing fields on a train, contemplating the demise of the man opposite her. After all, he does offer to light her cigarette, the lecherous bastard. Packed with awkward performances and clumsy plot twists, Dirty Weekend really goes the extra mile to earn its reputation as one of the worst British movies ever made. It’s an ugly movie – both in intent and execution, and if it had even one element that wasn’t embarrassingly dumb it might just be interesting enough to be offensive. Rufus Sewell’s early exit is easily the most graphic of the death scenes, his body flailing and jerking with each hammer blow, but it’s also a crying shame – despite appearing in such a grotty slice of exploitation, Sewell is absolutely fantastic in the role of Tim, the quietly menacing phone sex pest. Of course, being great at playing a sexually dysfunctional creep may not be the sort of thing you want to be remembered for, but it certainly livens up this amateurish farce, and for that we should be thankful. Need to know: Dirty Weekend was based on the debut novel by Helen Zahavi, and she co-wrote the script herself. Her other books include True Romance (no relation to the Tarantino-scripted movie) in which a beautiful Eastern European refugee enters into a sado-masochistic relationship with a wealthy cad, and Donna and the Fatman, in which a beautiful young woman enters into a sado-masochistic relationship with a London gangster. The serial killer who suffers a nasty case of knife-crotch when he attacks Bella was played by Christopher Adamson, an actor whose gnarled visage earned him a place among the cast of both Cutthroat Island and Pirates of the Caribbean. As well as Dirty Weekend, he can also be found in the second worst British movie ever made – Beyond Bedlam (see: Elizabeth Hurley). Finally, keep a close eye on the trio of leering yuppies who get blown away by Bella – the second to die is a very young Sean Pertwee (see: Gerard Butler). Availability: Dirty Weekend is no longer available in the US, but it can be found on DVD in Britain. .
Text © 2008 Dan Whitehead. No cut and paste, y'hear? All images remain the property of the offending studios and their reproduction is covered by Fair Use law.