It’s hard to imagine that there could be any embarrassing oddities
in a career that already contains such abject shitstorms as Men At Work
and Terminal Velocity, but you’d be wrong. In 1986, the same year
that Sheen won plaudits for his work in Oliver Stone’s Platoon
and one year before he’d reunite with Stone for the equally praised
Wall Street, Charlie churned out The Wraith, a supernatural teen horror
that is so tediously awful all his other misfires pale alongside it.
The concept is remarkably simple – bare-chested thug Packard Walsh
rules the roads with his generic punk gang, forcing hapless motorists
into street races and swiping their vehicles when they lose. He also
likes to assault and murder anyone who takes a fancy to his girl, Keri
(Sherilyn Fenn), and that includes local hunk Jamie, who pays the ultimate
price for fiddling with Keri’s exhaust pipes.
One year later, a mysterious loner called Jake (Sheen) rides into town
on his motorbike and starts making moves on Keri and getting in the way
of Packard’s business. Coincidentally, Jake arrives at the same
time as a silent black-clad road warrior in a souped-up sports car -
or at least what passed for a souped-up sports car in 1986. Nowadays
it looks more like a plastic Hot Wheels toy. Packard’s gang are
soon wiped out one-by-one in lethal races against this wraith-like racer,
and the town is abuzz with questions.
Could Jake be The Wraith? Could the scars on his back mean he’s
actually Jamie, back from the dead and looking for revenge?
Well…yes.
There’s precious little mystery to The Wraith, so all the viewer
can do is watch the bland and bloodless demise of Packard’s crew
of stock hoodlums and wait for Charlie’s sporadic appearances as
The Wraith’s tedious human counterpart, during which he woos Sherilyn
Fenn with a deadpan drawl which suggests that coming back from the dead
as an angel of vengeance involves more than a little brain damage.
Like some unholy collision between The Crow and The Fast and the Furious,
there’s not much in The Wraith that makes sense and, apart from
a few gratuitous tit shots, it’s a charmless PG rated slog from
beginning to end.
Need to know: The town sheriff is played by Randy Quaid, a man who was
apparently born middle-aged. It’s worth noting that the sheriff
is so ineffectual that he doesn’t even arrest Packard when he interrupts
him halfway through what is clearly sexual assault - though he does throw
the lady in question a coat to cover her shame. And they say chivalry
is dead.
Honourable mention: We can’t let Charlie Sheen pass us by without
giving a nod in the direction of the wonderfully loopy 1996 sci-fi flick
The Arrival. Written and directed by David Twohy (who would later bring
us Pitch Black), it casts Sheen somewhat unbelievably as an astronomer
who discovers the Earth is being invaded by aliens. Aliens with knees
that bend backwards. You know, like chickens. The only reason this camp
classic isn’t getting more attention here is because it’s
quite clearly not meant to be taken too seriously. At least, that’s
what you hope. Sheen also starred in the never-released Grizzly II alongside
George Clooney.
Availability: The Wraith is out of print in the UK but did receive a
bare bones, fullscreen DVD release in the US. Even though it’s
now been deleted, it’s easy to find online.
