Lesbian bikers and the living dead are two B-movie obsessions that should,
in theory, taste great together. This tongue-in-cheek low budget romp
almost manages to deliver on the delicious promise of its title, but
would probably have been long forgotten were it not for the presence
of a young Billy Bob as one of the supporting cast.
The Cycle Sluts are the chopper chicks of the title, a motley assortment
of female clichés – from the aggressive bull-dyke to the
battered wife on the run to the nice girl who just wants to make it in
rock and roll. They roll into a dustbowl of a town called Zariah, much
to the consternation of the gang’s second in command, Dede. While
the girls make themselves busy indulging in booze and the sexual favours
of the gobsmacked menfolk, we discover that Dede was once the homecoming
queen of Zariah, and the town is still home to her husband, Tommy. A
dumb but well-meaning hick, Tommy is played by the in-no-way typecast
Billy Bob Thornton, finely honing the “aw shucks” cornfed
stud routine that would no doubt help entice the likes of Angelina Jolie
into his bed.
Of course, we’re clearly missing the second half of the equation
here – zombies! They come courtesy of local mortician Ralph Willum
who, along with his dwarf sidekick, has been bumping off the townsfolk
and then bringing their corpses back to life in order to help him store
nuclear waste in a mine outside of town. The Cycle Sluts unwittingly
release the zombie horde from their slavery, and the undead march on
the town with lunch in mind.
Those yearning for the prospect of Billy Bob zombie fun are in for a
disappointment. He makes his exit depressingly early, shot by Willum
for snooping around his lab with Dede. This being a zombie movie – even
a spoof one – movie logic dictates that Billy Bob should rise again
and, given that he’s the husband of the leading lady, it even makes
a certain narrative sense. Sadly, we never see his grizzled little face
again, not even as one of the undead, meaning he misses out on a parade
of bargain basement decapitations, amputations and other low rent gore
effects.
The movie actually isn’t that bad – and when it is bad, it’s
usually on purpose – though it never quite manages to reach the
delirious depths that a movie with such a lurid title requires. More
comedy than horror, it’s worth checking out if the chance arises.
Need to know: The cunningly named John Littleton, Willum’s reluctant
dwarf assistant, is played by Ed Gale, an actor whose first screen role
was waddling around in the feathered costume of Howard the Duck (see:
Tim Robbins). He was also the stunt double for Chucky in some of the
Child’s Play movies, and played one of the Tall Man’s sinister
dwarves in Phantasm II.
Availability: Though you may struggle to find it, Chopper Chicks in Zombietown
is out on DVD.
